Why is it that very few things remain the same? Stay constant? Or even keep going at the rate at which they started? Is life really only a series of fleeting moments that only last for so long and then are gone for good? Not saying that in life some of those moments don’t stand out more than others, because some really do. The fleeting moments of life just seem like they are all lost in the drift of a tide of the ever-changing momentum of (my) life. Things are never steady, never simple and never stable. I grew up only being able to trust myself, and I have lost a lot as a result of that lack of trust, and trust is never simple for me. So maybe I am missing my own fleeting moments because I am not the most out going person. But at the same time, when people can speak about lose and not really know true lose, or can complain about pain when the human condition is to adapt to everything, pain, lose, heartbreak, and every other kind of pain out in the world. Who can be the true judge of pain, lose, and heartbreak? I would say only those in it.
I have made the mistake of judging others by what I want to be, how I wish I would act, and how I think things should happen. I am no one’s judge but my own, and it would greatly behoove people to think along those same lines. I am afraid of my potential, I am afraid to step out into the world and show them, everyone out there my true colors. My friends know who I am, but very few really know all I am capable of. I am the shrinking violet in the room. There could be a plethora of reasons as to why that is, but at the same time, it all comes down to me. It always comes down to me. The facts of my past should hold no response to the course of my future. The past shaped who I am, but who I want to be, well that is up to me, always has been, and always will be. The fleeting moments of the unstable lives we all live, are our moments to shape, to redirect the tides, and to pull on our ship those ideas we want to hold dear, and to show the other out on the water how we are as a result, no matter how the other fisherman look at you. The thing is that with your potential, your drive, only you really know how far you can go. How far you want to go, and how much you really want to do. If the sky is really the limit, if your dream is what you really want to go after. It is and has always been up to you. There is nothing that can change that.
The pain of the fleeting moments in our lives come and go, in waves and in moments of heartache, but the thing is, those moments shape you, they shape who you are, and who you want to be. Just know that you are not alone in the world, in the things you have gone through, anything you have gone through, some else has gone got through something similar, so know you are not alone, no matter how much you feel like you are at times, just know that things will improve. Cause they must. Cause it is you, and do you really want to give up on your own fleeting images? I know I don’t. I know I won’t. I know that I shouldn’t be the shrinking violet, I shouldn’t be afraid to show people all I can do, and all I am capable of. Will you back down? Will you shy away from being who you truly are meant to be?
